Can you flick the bean your way to inner peace? Yes, says OneTaste, an American organization dedicated to a “partnered consciousness practice” called orgasmic meditation (OM). This growing practice is according to OneTaste without any doubt meditation, but instead of focusing on a deep breath, the practitioner meditates while her pussy is being stroked for 15 minutes.
Here is how a session goes: the strokee is partnered with a stroker – who could be a real-life partner or anyone – with who she builds a nest out of yoga mats, blankets and pillows. Once ready, the strokee lays flat on her back while the stroker lubes a gloved finger and set the timer for 15 minutes. But wait, it doesn’t start right away. First, the stroker will take a look at the pussy, examine it and describe it and then, he (or she) gets down to business.
It might seem uncomfortable, but OneTaste popularity has been growing so tremendously since its launch in 2001 that we couldn’t ignore the trend and had to investigate it.
“The stroker and the strokee are aiming to cultivate their attention by putting their whole focus on the point of contact: her on her clit, him on his finger,” says Cara Joy Brand, president of OneTaste Burlington, VT.
Still, for an outsider, it does seem a lot like masturbation, but not according to Brand who says that a person cannot practice it alone.
“OM can have us feel more connected to ourselves and to other people. This can have us be better employees, bosses, partners and family members and improve all of our relationships, she says. When our connection to ourselves improves, then we know more what we want, we feel confident asking for it so everything can be affected positively; our careers, our relationships, our sex.”
The president, who’s also a certified coach for the company, assures that she has seen couples get a lot out of orgasmic meditation such as a better communication, deeper connection or better sex.
“OM has completely transformed my life, says Amber Buhalts, a 27-year-old New Yorker, who’s been practicing for 1,5 year. My first OM felt very awkward. Though I don’t remember feeling anything with his finger on my clit, I know that a deep spot got touched.”
This deep spot convinced the young New Yorker to continue OMing. Now, she practices on an average two times per day. She says that this form of meditation got her out of depression. “One of the biggest ways OM has had an impact is through my emotions, she explains. Not understanding my emotions and feelings in the past had it be that I was depressed and suicidal, and I don’t have to live like that anymore.”
“I am more in the present moment, says Sarah*, another practitioner from Montreal, Canada. The fact that OM is a goal-less practice allows us to focus on what is happening, and not what we think should happen. It helps in the daily life.”
The more we asked questions, the clearer the OM’s goal became. Feeling out of touch, disconnected and misunderstood are common complains in a woman’s life. Through its connectivity, OM seems to teach these women to be in phase with their own feelings, but what about the man, what does he get out of this?
“It raises the energy level in the woman’s body in order for both partners to connect with the life force that emerges inside and between their two bodies. And once you’re connected, you can let go of any goal and let it guide you in your next motions and ultimately in your next daily actions and decisions, says Eric, a 13 months practitioner from Montreal, Canada. This will lead you to an ultimate surrender to life’s desires, as opposed to your own egoist desires. This is why I consider orgasmic meditation as a spiritual practice.”
According to him, the arousal that comes with OMing doesn’t lead to sexual frustration. As opposed to wanting to get rid of the sensation of desire, both practitioners savor it. In OM, there is no goal, no obligation to have orgasm, just a strong desire to connect and take the time to appreciate this in-depth connection.
“I have a totally different outlook on the feminine beauty, explains the stroker who’s partnered with 20 or so women from different shapes and culture. The only beauty that remains in my mind’s eye is how these women let their bodies be open to sensations, to energetic vibrations and surrender to the orgasmic waves that this openness allows.”
Going through some testimonies on Reddit, we read a few comments from people who after trying it said they “didn’t get the point” or “didn’t feel connected”, which makes us wonder, for who is it for really? One thing that both strokees admitted is that the first time was awkward, but they still got enough sensation to try it again. The value seems certainly to come with repetition, but the interviewees all admitted that it’s for a certain type of people.
“It’s for people who want connection, to women who want to awaken their sex and for men who want to feel a woman’s energy”, says Sarah.
“I would recommend it to men who love and adore women but don’t know how to navigate society’s usual channels (going out in bars, joining dating apps…) for connection with women”, adds Eric.
“OM is for people who want to wake up and are willing to do the work. I had moments where I thought about going back to my life of comfort (alcohol, pills, television, shopping, food, etc.) and the truth is OM has given me the way to wake up that I’ve always been looking for,” concludes Amber.
*in order to keep this interviewee anonymous, we changed her name